It is with an almost indescribable sense of freedom that I sit here in my office tickling the computer keys and contemplate the above image as part of my past! Here in the warm glow of my office, away from the harsh florescent tubes of the garage, I can truly bask in the knowledge that Haifisch's engine is FINALLY reassembled and now sits patiently in the back of a small yellow car in our driveway waiting for the next start signal , that is - OUT of the garage! What started out as a "few days - maybe a week(s)" worth of work has finally ended after eight or nine weeks (we're not sure) of mechanical tribulation to levels never before experienced by this gear-head/writer. In fact this experience has led to a new "Time-To-Completion" formula to be developed. Being one of an overly optimistic nature, I have already developed a Time-To-Completion formula that I've used for years I call the "Over Optimistic Mechanics Formula." It go's something like this:
Tracy: "Skye, how long do you think it's going to take you to finish what you're doing in the garage? I'm thinking of going to the beach in a while and wonder if you could come with me."
Skye thinks to self: "Uh-Oh, motivation somethin' powerful - must be realistic! Well I'm not doing that much. It should only take five minutes (ISOTFM). even if I have problems it couldn't take more than - oohhh - an hour & a half." So (enter OOMF formula) 1.5 hours x .30, add to worst case time = 2 hours. Plenty of time to get to the beach & shred some gnarly tubes."
Skye answers: "Well I'm not doing that much Tracy. I just need to loosen the kingpin torque arm responder, get the jiggle of the wiggle in direct proportion to the angle of the dangle and tighten 'er back up. I'd say no longer than 2 hours!"
years of excellent performance however, my trusty OOMF
formula has been rendered obsolete by the arcane world of vintage
Volkswagen repair/restoration. Now a new air-cooled VW formula must
be created. I'll call it the "Old
Volkswagen Error/Uncertainty Probability Principal."
principal! It takes the same estimated worst case scenario
+ 30% values from the OOMF
formula and adds a multiplication factor of 4.609. The resulting answer
will be the spread of which your estimated time is probably wrong!
Example: 1.5 hours x .30, add to worst case time =2 hours x 4.609
= about a 9-1/4 hour window past the first 2 hours in which you could
finish at any time!
but now we have learned a great many lessons (like
the fact that cylinder shims really aren't available unless you get
a company in California to cut and mill them out of a tube that is
probably only found in the Czech Republic where it's used to clean
salt mines or something) which is what we're all here for
eh? It also occurs to me that my subconscious may have set this whole
thing up as one last relationship test as our wedding looms only two
months over the horizon. A test I must say, that two-out-of-three
of us passed with flying colors (the
motor seems to be afflicted with somewhat low blood - er - oil pressure
which I believe may be the result of some confusion over whether a
30mm oil pump is called "heavy duty" or whether it's just
the proper "standard" one for this engine, but this will
be quickly resolved).